“You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
We’ve all heard that one. And it’s true.
But why are you even pouring out of a full one?
Like Iyanla Vanzant says, “What’s in the cup is mine.”
What’s in your cup is yours.
What you give to others should be from the OVERFLOW.
Are you so full that you’re overflowing? If not, then you’re not doing self-care right.
Not to blame or shame you - how many people do you know who really are? It’s so tragically common that we are all barely scraping by, running on the smell of an oily rag - that oily rag being whatever ‘me time’ you manage to scrape together and hope that will get you through.
(Or maybe literally some essential oils, hoping they can bring us back from the brink. Or herbal tea. Or chocolate cake.)
But that’s not enough. It’s not truly caring for yourself; it’s not doing anyone any good in the long run.
You should be so full you’re overflowing.
Otherwise it’s repeating the pattern of fill up, empty out, refill, empty, refill…
Or at best, you’re always trying to top up, top up, top up to keep yourself from getting too low, running totally dry.
There is more abundance available to you than that!
Too often what we call self-care, is self-recovery. We’re already running low by the time we get to do something about it.
Instead, what would life look like if you only gave from overflow? What would you be doing, how would you be living if you prioritised keeping yourself so full you were overflowing?
What if you only ever gave from the overflow, and kept what is in the cup for your self-full self?
“But what about everyone who needs me? What about everything and everyone else?”
Well, you better get overflowing then!! Because they don’t get what’s in your cup. So if you want them to get anything from you, you better damn well make sure you’re overflowing!!
If you keep making it negotiable, it always will be.
But if you decide to not be available to anything less than overflow, then your life is just going to have to rise up to meet you, isn’t it?
And I don’t say this from theory. I’ve done it. I’ve made the ‘hard’ choices, I’ve changed so fucking much, despite others thinking I was crazy or selfish.
And it’s still in process, of course. I don't always do it. I still forget that it can be different.
It’s so ingrained in us to not be selfish, to be small, to give and give, to keeping going, doing just enough to keep us alive as we put everything and everyone else first. It’s not easy to break out of that mould.
But I know, I KNOW, that if my life is going to be worth a damn on this planet, if my existence is going to mean anything of value, if I’m going to be more than just a life support machine for the existence of others - if I in fact want to be a beacon of light and transformation and growth to others, whether my own family or the wider world - then I have to be, not selfish, but SelfFULL.
And I have to prioritise that, so that I am so full I am overflowing.
What’s in the cup is mine. What overflows is for everyone else.
Repeat until you believe it.